


Nope.

by Annabel_Lioncourt



Category: Hellsing
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor, I'm stealing ninjagiry's tag for this:, Is this another dumb thing from myself and ninjagiry? Yes, Walter Never Does The Thing AU, Yes it Is, and Walter nopes out of the room, bc damn it Integra has lost enough people in her life, but this takes place just before the events of the manga/ova so that doesn't even really apply here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 09:19:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7568671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annabel_Lioncourt/pseuds/Annabel_Lioncourt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Integra keeps her quarters neat, with near military levels of tidiness, but Walter still comes by some days to dust and get her suits to send for cleaning. On one of these days, he finds something that he wishes he didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nope.

Even as a child Integra's room was always eerily clean. Other than dusting there was never anything that ever needed to be done: she made her own bed, always left used mugs of tea on the tray on the table by the fireplace, and always put her laundry in the basket on the floor of her wardrobe. Still, every week Walter attended to her room just as he did with every room in the manor proper, and saw that it was dust-free, vacuumed, laundry taken to the wash, and in general just as tidy as he left it before. Knocking before entering, and being met with no sound of protest, he entered.

Just as usual, nearly everything was in its place. He could hear water running in her adjoined bath, and figured that she must be showering, having woken up later than she normally did. Curtains were still closed, and he opened them for her; the bed was unmade but he left that task to her, more out of his own desire to avoid the pile of lace on the top of it that he assumed were pyjamas or undergarments  _of some kind? but she's very tall, and there's not much to those._ He quickly shook the disturbing mental image from his head, moved to her wardrobe to retrieve her suits and her jacket for dry cleaning. The basket wasn't full yet, so he left it there for now, wanting to hurry out of the room before she stepped back in.  _The blue one, the brown ones and one of the grey ones were dry clean only_.... _hello what is this_? About to close the door he noticed, on the coat hook beside her riding jacket, was an inside-out-robe of satin.  _She's never left clothing like that_... Walter shrugged it off. Integra had been acting odd lately, stress, of course, and probably left it there before bed figuring on fixing it in the morning.

Turning it right-side-out to place in the basket, he noticed the color of its exterior. The bright, gaudy red with the embellished pocket had been a gift last Christmas--only....it was a gift  _from_ Integra, not  _to_ her. It was  _to_ that bastard pet weapon of hers that she refused to keep locked up when not in use.  _What the hell is she doing with--_

The sound of the shower had stopped, and voices came from behind the door.

"You only have one towel in here," 

"Because I normally only have  _one person_ in here. There's spares on the top shelf of the wardrobe, just don't get the carpet too wet."

Walter's face drained of color entirely, and looking back later this week, he would be certain that this was the direct cause of the grey hairs he found. Leaving the duster, vacuum, and suits in her room, he made for the door, and didn't look back.

 

**Author's Note:**

> @ninjagiry of tumblr had the idea "Walter finds Alucard's robe in Integra's closet and nopes out" but I find the idea of Walter discovering Integra/Alucard's relationship endlessly entertaining, and I had been working with technical difficulties of another story all day, so here's some nonsense for everyone.


End file.
